Alfresco Dining Fanatic Gifts

"Please hurry, Hilary. Your soup's getting dirty."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Advanced footsie

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"....and hold the garlic."

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

Platter confusion.

'Whatever he's eating.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

Pompeii restoration project.

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

"Why, Giambattista Tiepolo, you old so-and-so! Who knew you could paint?"

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

"The Ceiling is slightly wider than I'd planned."

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

"Let's see, now, that's cappuccino, cappuccino, cappuccino, and cappuccino—right?"

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! You've come to the right place.

Our Troubled Chowders