Alexa User Gifts

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

Maternity ward.

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

Macho man body building club.

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'Doctor, the patient would like to know when he can return to being an overbearing, stressed-out pig?'

"Unplug and chill out."

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

Reading room

The book that will not be denied!

"Actually, that old axiom was based on faulty mathematics! I discovered that when you correct this ration, two wrongs DO make a right!"

Manual Labor.

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

Karen was delighted that both her large and small suppliers had turned up for her industry day

'If you think using a stick is evolutionary, wait till you try one these dipped in chocolate.'

"Yes, Mr. Hargraves, thumb-sucking can be cured. But first let's talk about what your other hand is doing."

'What does the Scout manual say about this situation?'

You are now leaving Echo Valley - please call again!

'The nicotine patch should get you off the nicotine gum.'

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

'I finally kicked the fire breathing habit, now I'm stuck on mints and I'm gaining weight.'

Salesman given 10 minutes under extreme pressure to sell to buyer

DIY motor repairs.

"Your predecessor worked here for a very long time, so before you take over his office we're sending in an archaeologist to check it out."