Tool User Gifts

'If you think using a stick is evolutionary, wait till you try one these dipped in chocolate.'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

'Is this the new input device?'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

The Hammer

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

"Don't disturb Daddy darling: he's just received his new issue of "Basic Tools Monthly"..."

"Unplug and chill out."

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

...they can't take the factory out of the man - he's off to do some welding.

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

'It's an old work injury.'

'Obviously the natives here are sophisticated tool makers.'

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

'Oh flips! I've forgot me anvil again!'

I'm a bolt, dummy! Does everything look like a nail to you?!

A Pocket Knife Tool Belt.