Alcohol Culture Commentator Pillows

Brer Hobo: 'Please Officers, don't throw me in the liquor store!'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

Title Page for 'Mrs Grundy'

'I've got a really important meeting today, so give me something that will get me so drunk no one will want to mess with me.'

"Tell me more about your problem - I understand it's drink related."

Church Open 51 Sundays Per Year, Closed Superbowl Sunday

"Since he retired, he fills his days complaining about 'woke' television."

'The country just may not be ready for patriotic rap.'

"That's lovely, dear. Give me a heads-up when manners and intelligence get a little closer."

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

'I see you've dressed to go clubbing.'

Drunken rooster has a hangover while sun rises.

Tip responsibly

"I can't remember. Are we for or against cloning?"

"Staff, we're having a Cinco de Mayo sale this year!"

THE PIED PAPARAZZI - "Ugh! Stop following me!"

'This tasted a lot better at the trade show, Sammy.'

"This whole forest is getting unbearably gentrified."

On a Certian Condescension in Foreigners.

Bar - Now serving 24 Hours - Customer to bar man - 'I want to get as wasted as you look'.

Thanks to his reputation as a tough and unfriendly loner, nobody flocked with Randy.

"I don't believe I care for anything, thank, you. I'm just in their car pool."

'You must spend you whole life in here.' - 'No, sometimes I go down to the Crown.'

"So can anyone tell me what this stands for?"

"Boy I'm so fed up with dancing to Indian music: Wish he would play some Rock'N Roll..."

'No alcohol for me thanks: I have a sheer cliff face to climb to get home...'

"Hey barkeep! Is there anything but the Food Channel on the microwave?"

'Excuse me Sir, I seem to have lost my memory.'