Alcohol Culture Commentator Gifts

Brer Hobo: 'Please Officers, don't throw me in the liquor store!'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Has Oprah ever been married?'

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

Title Page for 'Mrs Grundy'

'I've got a really important meeting today, so give me something that will get me so drunk no one will want to mess with me.'

Church Open 51 Sundays Per Year, Closed Superbowl Sunday

"That's lovely, dear. Give me a heads-up when manners and intelligence get a little closer."

"Unfortunately, we can't vote for Spongebob Squarepants..."

'The country just may not be ready for patriotic rap.'

"Tell me more about your problem - I understand it's drink related."

"Since he retired, he fills his days complaining about 'woke' television."

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

'I see you've dressed to go clubbing.'

I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: Bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hid anything. I think it's about time our caf

Tip responsibly

Drunken rooster has a hangover while sun rises.

"I can't remember. Are we for or against cloning?"

"Staff, we're having a Cinco de Mayo sale this year!"

THE PIED PAPARAZZI - "Ugh! Stop following me!"

'This tasted a lot better at the trade show, Sammy.'

The Blame Game

Thanks to his reputation as a tough and unfriendly loner, nobody flocked with Randy.

Bar - Now serving 24 Hours - Customer to bar man - 'I want to get as wasted as you look'.

On a Certian Condescension in Foreigners.

"I don't believe I care for anything, thank, you. I'm just in their car pool."

Lana Turner

"This whole forest is getting unbearably gentrified."

'You must spend you whole life in here.' - 'No, sometimes I go down to the Crown.'

"So can anyone tell me what this stands for?"

"Boy I'm so fed up with dancing to Indian music: Wish he would play some Rock'N Roll..."

"Hey barkeep! Is there anything but the Food Channel on the microwave?"

Indian brave buys warpaint from Avon lady.