Alchemy Aficionado Pillows

"Sure, we need more research in alchemy, necromancy, and sorcery, but where is the money going to come from?"

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"He has a little place in the basement where he's trying to transmute amethysts into antibiotics."

Johann Joachim Becher

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

The Laboratory

'Don't add potassium nitrate to anything this year.'

Kevin suspected he had Dragon Sickness

'I'm attempting to transmute calcium oxide, copper gluconate, manganese sulfate and benzaldenyde into condensed soup.'

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

"Caltonia says you plagiarized his incantation for changing tin into platinum."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'One eye of newt or two?'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

You do know it's Harry Potter who's real and JK Rowling is just one of his spells?

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

You're the botanicals in my gin

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

"What the hell took so long?"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

The Great Lamington Drive of 1892 - Lamingtons are being herded like cattle across the plains by cowboys... or lamingtonboys.

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Surfing kangaroo #2 Ruck sack.

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.