Album Aficionados T-Shirts

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

Anna Calvi

Orchestra.

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Elvis Presley

"Toi Toi Toi!"

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"The Monster Mash wasn't just about having fun. We were protesting Vietnam."

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Kanya West Inspired Children Books.

Bryan Ferry

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

My other cello is a Stradivari

Eric Clapton.

Fossil record player.

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

Woman crying with happiness.

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

Violin Practise

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

David Grohl - Foo Fighters

"So, to sum up, I would like to say that Shakespeare is an awesome genius in the same category as Albert Einstein and Jerry Garcia."

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

Jimi Hendrix.

Elevator Music