Alarm Clock Avoider Pillows

The early bird goes back to sleep.

'The ideal amount of sleep is 10 minutes more than you've had.'

A caveman sleeps with a club labelled 'Snooze' whilst a beaten looking rooster stands by.

'It's time to get up? -- Where do you get your information?'

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'Away from it all, but with no annoying cell phone break-ups.'

"Don't pretend it's a pet, you're just too mean to buy an alarm clock!"

"Hell's bells, overslept again!"

"Oh, I won't be late for the morning watch. I never oversleep."

'I'll set snooze for an extra month.'

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Big Ben

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'Anyone can get to school on time if he tries hard enough, Eddie.'

'I see, from your resume, that you have lost your last two jobs because of lateness.'

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

'Never fails,,, The second we sit down for dinner,'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

Hiding From Social Media

'He likes to beat the five o'clock rush...he always leaves at noon.'

Whack Your Alarm Clock

"I'd like to be on time for school but it makes the day too long!"

"It's Monday."

To Do: 1) Wake up 2) Smell coffee.

100% effective Talk-Radio alarm.

"I only wish this was the final notice."

Burglar Alarm

Town crier rings bell for a wake up call.

'At the sound of the tone, please leave a message.. unless you're trying to sell me something.'