Airport Security Fans Pillows

"Are you carrying currency or monetary instruments of $ 10,000 U.S. or foreign equivelant?"

UK border controls relaxed.

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Safest Airline in The World

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

Don't look know, but I think you're being Googled.

Couple putting baby through the scanner.

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

"He keeps touching me!"

"I need a vacation. Everything is starting to smell like a bomb to me."

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

'I'm sorry sir, but that slide rule exceeds the allowable length for a sharp object, unless, of course, you can manage to fold it.'

Airport traffic

'We'd like to start by boarding anyone with hot food they've been waiting to eat on the plane.'

'You're right, good joke, bad timing...'

'Welcome to America'

'Due to budget cuts, all agents will now be equipped with x-ray glasses.'

"I think we're named after computer passwords."

It's 'safety first' for Gary the goat.

Hawaiian Airways: No Ukulele playing beyond this point.

"Where aren't you going to?"

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

Alfredo the knife thrower's first air trip.

Not expected to pass through Customs...

Attention: MILE HIGH CLUBBERS - Security Cameras in Restrooms.

'Not so fast, Louie -- this may be a trap...'

'Sure, it's an improvement. But I guess we'll need to get to the airport a lot earlier from now on...'

Godzilla's Security Question