Airport Safety Inspector Gifts

'FAA Funding, The New GOP Hostage Crisis!'

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Time Out For Teddy

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

AI Safety Officer

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

Job Safety - Hardhat.

Nuclear waste.

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

The hall of bad ideas.

Is this what they call inherent safety?

Wear a helmet

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '