Airline Safety Inspector Gifts

'Alright, you've won the bet: You do have an air-bag system in case of rough landing...'

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Time Out For Teddy

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

AI Safety Officer

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

Nuclear waste.

Job Safety - Hardhat.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

The man in the big yellow hat remedies George's curiosity once and for all,

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

Is this what they call inherent safety?

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Wear a helmet

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

The hall of bad ideas.

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."