Airport Cynic Pillows

Watching strangers undress, then and now.

No Immediate Danger

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

"I think I've arrived at the airport too soon"

Obama builds own gallows.

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

Old Rope

"I'd better read the official view before I form an opinion."

'All roads may lead to Rome but so does all the road rage.'

This country is on the road to ruin!

Revealing Airport Security

"Am I covered for the brain cell damage caused by your TV commercials?"

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

"We interrupt this endless stream of mind-numbing adverts to bring you a TV programme..."

"Amid rampant crime, political instability, frequent attacks by nationalist guerrillas, and numerous endemic diseases, I assure you there is no chance of boredom in this exotic tourist destination."

Pot hole.

'I'm fed up living this way as a recluse. I'll get a place in the country, and become a hermit.'

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

Motorway services charging extra if you want your food cooked.

Prison on an airplane

I hate the beach.

Airport Screening gone wild...

'If you don't want to know the scores please exercise your distrust of the BBC now.'

Standing room in airplanes.

Close enough

Lifeguard watching puddle in road.

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'I saved 10 minutes at the hotel with speedy checkout, 10 minutes at the car rental with instant check in. Now I'm spending 6 hours on the runway.'

Self-Sufficiency My Arse. He's workshy!