Airplane Cleaner Gifts

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'

Employee of the Month Parking

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

Jet Liner Wipes 'I tell ya, cleanin' the fuselage used to be my least favorite job...'

Mechanics, their forks ready, prepare to deice the chocolate off a plane.

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

"Be careful - we've seen an alarming increase in the number of plane strikes."

"This is supposed to be the clean room so we'll give it an additional five minutes."

Bev puts on an old favorite

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

"The air feels cleaner, for some reason."

'Fasten yourself to your seats please.'

An airplane drops a Valentine for a woman.

'Lose another wrench to that black hole that sucks up all tools the instant you drop it?'

"The captain asks everyone switch their phones to airplane mode -- He wants to go faster."

A sky writer writes, 'Thank you.'

Santa's Near Miss

'Ken's back was bent at a rakish angle'

Mime Artist's Driver

Skyscrapers.

Much baggage looks similar. Please check stubs.

'What about change? Do you have any change in your pockets?'

'I probably shouldn't have drank that coffee. It always makes me crash in the afternoon.'

'Waaaaaaahh!'

"Whether I have five passengers or five hundred, I try to make the same inane announcements."

Bidding

People at airport look at information board showing strike action and union membership cancelled.

Warp speed to 31 Greenbrook Drive, Number Two!