Air Travel Humorist Pillows

'You've got to admire their candor.'

'What's the best way to get to the nearest Post Office?' 'By Easyjet.'

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

Up Date

Vampire on a plane

Smokers smoking outside of a plane.

Men wearing loud shirts are the first loaded onto airplane.

"No whining or complaining. If you get a seat, pretend you just won the lottery. Smile, and do what they tell you. And most importantly, give them chocolate."

"When I said 'Be seated' I meant in your seat"

"Oh yeah, I forgot to ask. 'did you want anything to drink?'"

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'Flight simulator'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"It's my helper trout!"

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."