Air Seeking Humorist Gifts

"I just needed to get some fresh air."

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'Flight simulator'

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"I've downloaded an app to hire and fire people."

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

"It's my helper trout!"

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

This castle manager job better be for real.

'I wish I could fire people as well as Donald Trump.'

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"The firm is always appointed above competence levels, you topped out at paperclip."

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

'The really scary part is that he is the new head of human resources.'

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

Cow Pilot.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

"Number four wasn't bad, at least he removed his personal CD earphones for most of the interview."

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

"I'm sure he's a fine boy, but we prefer interviewing your son in person."

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'