Agriculture Maven T-Shirts

The National Fertilizer Co.

The Jeopardy of Progress

The adoration of the gels.

Muscles

"Ninja bread men"

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

See? Whenever he's mad at me, he turns off his Touch ID sensor.

"Arthur, I need my space."

'The highest court in the land.'

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

"Sir, what is your position on the issue of banana control?"

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

Home Sweet Sign

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'All he wants is sex, sex, sex!'

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"Yes, the migration flight home is always faster, but it's thanks to the prevailing winds, not just because we're keen to get home..."

Body Building Mishap

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

'Our marriage has been so successful because we are open to each others' points of view, and we always think for ourselves... isn't that right, honey?'

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

World hunger

'It's the people downstairs again.'

'Dear, your ego is stepping on my shoes again.'

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

Sadie, I don't want you to stay in this relationship just because it's convenient. I think the counselor would agree. Counseling $10. Wow. Of course. Counselors never tell you what they think. I think we're overpaying.