Agricultural Artisan Gifts

Farmers' Union

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

Horti-Culture

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

GMOs: The Next Generation

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

"You're famous, Angus."

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

"We fear no more for today is our Independence Day!"

Farmer Christmas.

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

Naughty grass, go to sleep! It's pasture bed time!

Cow Pilot.

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

'It's not good enough that you are my yes persons, I want you imprinted on me!'

Dear Farmer Brown - we really don't like you. The Animals.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'

"You wanted to see the pastry chef, sir."

"We're doing our best to meet the demand for ethanol."

Factory Farmers.

'Is it true you're covered in genuine pigskin?'

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

'I'm collecting llama poop for my strawberries.' 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'