Aging With Dignity Gifts

'I prefer 'Baby Boomer' over 'Senior Citizen'.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

'The only part of my body that defies gravity is my age.'

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

Parts Department

"We REALLY do get better with age."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"I noticed a few browns."

Aging Problems

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

Don't have a hot flush....

"You're right, they are statins."

"I come from the future."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'