Aging Gracefully Savant Pillows

'Well if they are 'laugh lines', you've got an awful lot for such a misery guts!'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Multi-Generational Books

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'Man...You age great!'

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Old Karate Master

Parts Department

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Aging Problems

"I noticed a few browns."

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

"You're right, they are statins."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"Miriam keeps me young."

The Aging of Underwear

"He's got a great future behind him!"

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

A very fine vintage

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'