Agile Development Gifts

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

Project Manager Showdown

Evolution.

'Can our software do that?'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

'You must be fast, agile and unflappable! Having fun just got serious ponies....welcome to gymkhana!

Agility God

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

"I'm glad you felt able to get that off your chest...now could we discuss next year's targets?"

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"I think you should hire me for my vast software knowledge. . . and then pay for me to go learn software."

'He's an attorney. He came with the software package, to verify software licensing compliance.'

Engineer on the move.

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

An outstanding high school pole vaulter, Kevin was never caught coming home late,

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

'His debugging skills are exceptional.'

Copyright and copyleft

'It just doesn't get any beta than this.'

Population train.

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

Open Source.