Age Tracker Pillows

'How old? He's 14 months, 3 days, 7 hours and 16 seconds... 17... 18...'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

The interested bystanders.

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

'This part was tenure.'

"That can't be right. How'd you work 15 hours in on day?"

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

"Not to alarm you, but the other newborns are already ahead."

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

Minnesota Weather.

"Obama planted it."

Woman and scales.

"Would you want to drink from a fountain of youth?" "I'd settle for a fountain of middle age."

"Wow! - Record climate emergency in Western Canada!. . ."

Prison Wallpaper.

Retirement Age

"Here's the problem, I grabbed the wrong map. This isn't the Fountain of Youth. This is the Fountain of Middle Age."

"Before I was Socrates, I was Socrates the adjunct professor struggling to get tenure."

Smug Colleagues Leaving Work.

'I have yopur lab results. Some of your readings are too high and some are too low. No, they don't balance out.'

'It only seems like that because you got in on time.'

Four Stages of Boyhood