Age Tracker Gifts

'How old? He's 14 months, 3 days, 7 hours and 16 seconds... 17... 18...'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

The interested bystanders.

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

'This part was tenure.'

"That can't be right. How'd you work 15 hours in on day?"

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

"Not to alarm you, but the other newborns are already ahead."

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

You're only young once but apparently there's no limit on childish. (Published originally on January 15, 2008.)

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

Woman and scales.

"Wow! - Record climate emergency in Western Canada!. . ."

Minnesota Weather.

"Would you want to drink from a fountain of youth?" "I'd settle for a fountain of middle age."

"Obama planted it."

Prison Wallpaper.

Retirement Age

Highway of Life. No, Ernie, we're on cruise control. It just seems like we're going faster the further we go.

"Here's the problem, I grabbed the wrong map. This isn't the Fountain of Youth. This is the Fountain of Middle Age."

Myleene Klass

"Before I was Socrates, I was Socrates the adjunct professor struggling to get tenure."

Smug Colleagues Leaving Work.

'I have yopur lab results. Some of your readings are too high and some are too low. No, they don't balance out.'

'It only seems like that because you got in on time.'