Age Defying Joker Gifts

All You Can Eat: Senior Special

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"A little under done?"

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"It makes you look old."

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Those aren't sprinkles! they're FLEAS!!!! 'I made it from scratch.'

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

Adult Absence Notes.

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Toilet humour

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

No infrastructure problem here

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

Shenanigans at the Leper Colony.

'A room with double beds, please.'

"I am studying the alphabet. I'm watching ABC."

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

A clown & his clone.

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."

Jim's Smart Kettle

"An apple? Doesn't he have any pizza?"

"I brought chips and cookies to snack on and baby carrots to sit unopened on the blanket."