Age-defying Go-getter Pillows

Old Paperboy.

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

London merchant telling a young employee that if he does not change his behaviour his career will go badly and he may end up becoming mayor

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"Don't get your hopes up, Filby."

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

Still hip, but not much hop.

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

"75"

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

"It's a digital tattoo. It changes every time it's no longer age appropriate."

"Be honest- how does it look? I had to leave my laugh lines in for Bill."