Age-defying Fashionista Gifts

"I'm afraid it's two, three months, tops, before you're all pants."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

"Let's make believe they have to get dressed to go out now because there's a big sale at Bloomingdale's."

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

"That outfit is a nasty mix of stripes and patterns."

"Here are our latest frames, designed to make you look with-it, even though your past-it."

Still hip, but not much hop.

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

She IS a raisin

"Houston we have a problem...Andy's mom knitted his space suit."

"And I'll have my usual - 'Mutton dressed as lamb'!"

'I don't care. You're not going over to the dark side and that's final.'

"Awww! How long have you been married?"

"Of course I'm young at heart...I had one of my wrinkles pierced, didn't I?"

"In your case we’ll begin the facelift with an incision behind your right ear and extend it into the waiting room."

'Mum, you just HAVE to stop lying about your age, otherwise everyone will think that you are younger than me!'

"The worrying thing is, I'm exactly the same age as Tina Turner."

"I want just enough done that my phone will still recognize me."

'People your age tend to overindulge themselves to death — we doctors call them 'suicide boomers.''

"She thinks a cherry tomato makes her look younger, but she's not fooling anyone."

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"

"I didn't mean to imply your laugh lines are funny, Mrs. Carpentier."

"This one sounds hot - says he's a 'sexagenarian'!"

'No, being forty is not the result of an aging disease.'

'Met my sister for lunch the other day. She's actually beginning to show her age. Of course, not her real age.'

70 is the new 40