Afterlife Schedulers Pillows

"You shouldn't be here. Your dead - and don't have an appointment."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

God's Sticky Notes

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

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"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

Gates of heaven

Postcards from Heaven...

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

Post-psychoanalysis

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'