Afterlife Scribe Pillows

"Give it up, Carl. You’ve been dead for six months. You’re not gonna finish the novel."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

Gates of heaven

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Postcards from Heaven...

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

Post-psychoanalysis

"No, you're going to hell - but you're welcome to check out the gift shop."

'Hold on, pal! Who's in control of the narrative here?'