Afterlife Athletes Pillows

Football Angel

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"Needs to get a life"

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

The Reaper's Arms

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'This is way better than a litter box.'