Afterlife Athletes Pillows

Football Angel

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"It's true: no more burpees."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Needs to get a life"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

The Reaper's Arms

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"