Afterlife Ace Pillows

'He lived and died for golf.'

'Sudden death?'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Needs to get a life"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"It's true: no more burpees."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

The Reaper's Arms

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

Halo Frisbee.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."