Afterlife Ace Pillows

'He lived and died for golf.'

'Sudden death?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Surgery up here is free!"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"It's true: no more burpees."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"All we have left is standing room only."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Needs to get a life"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

The Reaper's Arms

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

'This is way better than a litter box.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

Halo Frisbee.

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."