Afterlife Achiever Pillows

'He was competitive to the very end.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"Surgery up here is free!"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"It's true: no more burpees."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Needs to get a life"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

The Reaper's Arms

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Halo Frisbee.

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"