After School Gifts

'Of course, I'm proud of you but I don't think he would be a healthy after school snack.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Computer Room.

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

I will study my speling words...

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

Boy and girl at thier studies

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

Happy kids running abount with a 'Schools out' banner

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"Could I ask just one question?"

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"Three more years of high school."

'I really crammed last night.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'Court's in recess!'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'