Aficionado Of The Unknown T-Shirts

Spirit medium, spirit extra large.

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

The Selfie

Never.....teach your dog to fly.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

Silvio Berlusconi - The emperors new clothes.

Hoxton map.

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

'Well of course there are no snakes, have you not heard of St Patrick, at all, at all?'

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

"Thanks, but I'm in the midst of a lesbian phase that started the day I was born."

'I wasn't drowning, I was waving!'

Bernard Levin

'Amazing, Holmes! That's the eighth time in a row you've gotten the 'dud'!'

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

The Fascinating Language of Ambivalence, Decoded.

"If Shakespeare were alive today, he would be driving this make of Sports Utility Vehicle."

"My husband is missing. I haven't seen him since he started wearing camouflage clothes."

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

Want to hear a secret? Every time they put a nut in my mouth, I give it a little lick.

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.

The Incredible Telly Presenter's Journey.

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

'I'm not cut out for this job' (Matisse sketch to cut out paper model)

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

'The Hubble telescope is providing us with incredibly distant images of a very early universe.'

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

Barry Cryer.