Aficionado Of Strange Symptoms Gifts

"You're in luck. My speciality is symptoms that are just crazy."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

Making fun of Starfish.

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'Amazing, Holmes! That's the eighth time in a row you've gotten the 'dud'!'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

A lesson in wit

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"Gladys, look! My kids made me a card for Mother's Day!"

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

"I was so shy I hid to sound her out. When the echo came back, she sounded really good looking, and the rest, is history..."

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well informed."

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

"I think your problem is heartbeat-from-mouth syndrome."

'We know the elephant died when he jumped off the roof. But the other guy? It's a mystery.'

'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

'My patients are picking up so much medical knowledge through the media that I feel more like their consultant than their doctor.'

The Da Vinci Code Bookstore.

"Oh, yes—do come in!"

"At work, they call me benchmark."

"Did we turn off the stove?"

"A mouse! A mouse!"

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DECOR

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

"I'm curious. Who did murder me?"

Tunnel of Anxiety

Mystery Writer's Book Signing...Tell the Author How You Could Have COme Up With A Better Ending, 4-6pm.

The recognition