Affluence Humor Lover Gifts

'House arrest? Should I use the one in France, Bermuda, or Spain?'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Jumping Wall Street.

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

God bless our home equity line of credit.

In case of falling markets break glass.

Federal Guidelines

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

'It's a bill collector!'

'Money isn't everything...but it should be.'

Caution: Falling Businessmen - A Sign of the Times

'You've been approved for your loan, Mr. Root. We'd like to hold your nuts as collateral.'

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

Home 'Submerged' Home! (Home value less than mortgage).

"It may well be the root of all evil, but it's also the root of all this."

'Hector owes us money ...'

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

Piggy Banks/Cash Cows/Free Chicken Account.

Bad end-of-year figures

'Great cash flow, Phil.'

Modern Art - 'Bull' graph going up / 'Bear' graph going down

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

US economy health.