Affectionate Nickname Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"His reputation as a tough guy was dented when his Valentine called him ‘cuddle bottom’."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

Tom Cruise

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

What really became of the boy named Sue.

'My other baby is Mercedes'

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

"Sinead?!"

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

"I was listening at the door and I overheard the nickname they have for me."

'My husband's first name? Heck, I don't know! I call him `wimp` since we met the first time'!

Mr Long and Miss Short.

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

"One of you will be Kevin, one will be Kev and one will be K. You decide who."

Margaret...Meatball

A word to the wise. At this morning's meeting you were referred to as the 'the bottleneck'.

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

'Theodore seemed much more approachable when he began going by his childhood name.'