Term Of Endearment Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

'Lance, what does 'NSFW' stand for?'

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

Funny Farm

Fisherman: 'HOLY MACKEREL!'

"Wait ... I always thought taking each other for granted was a good thing!"

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

"She introduces herself as Drosophila Melanogaster, but everyone knows she's just a common fruit fly."

It's good news when an agent says "This is a big break" to an aspiring actor. But not good when said by an orthopedic surgeon holding your x-ray! It's jarring when your business partner says "We're going under while he's looking at the books. But it's very routine when said by a submarine captain speaking to the crew. "You're on fire" is nice to hear when you're playing an excellent round of golf. But not what you want to hear when you're grilling burgers. "A thumb on the scale" often mean

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

Could you be a little bit more specific than an 'arm and a leg'?

Yep, that's me in a pea pod! In a pea pod�?? I think "nutshell" has been vastly overused.

'That dress certainly matches your eyes.'

"One of you will be Kevin, one will be Kev and one will be K. You decide who."

Bud's Club...Where Buds, Bubs and Bros gather!

A word to the wise. At this morning's meeting you were referred to as the 'the bottleneck'.

'Why do you call me fridge?...' '...You're cold, frosty and full of junk.'

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

Globe. Which line do you prefer? "What's past is prologue" or "today is the first day of the rest of your life"?

Margaret...Meatball