Advocate Of Red Tape Navigation Gifts

"Regardless of the question, bureaucracy is the answer."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

"No, it's no mistake. There is no out."

How Many It Takes

'I was just ringing to see if you'd got the email about my letter.'

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

"Staff are always complaining about supposed bureaucracy, but if no one completed form M74/cd3 then how would we know how many M74/cd3’s had been filled out!"

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

'This is the questionnaire we need everyone to fill out about their views on excessive bureaucracy.'

Bureaucraze...

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"Why don't you ever do any positive stories about government dysfunction?"

'Before I grant you your wish you have to fill out an environmental statement.'

"Sure, you can use the bathroom. But, you have to put your request in writing and send three copies to the personnel department."

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

Climbing in the Bureaucracy.

"Please fill out these forms. We don't need them for anything, but you're making me nervous staring at your watch."

Man sees Creative License Bureau

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

"...I thought I was too smart, too idealistic to end up this way, but LOOK at me! I've become an entrenched bureaucrat!"

Bureaucratic castle

A day at the UN.

"Ambitions... to finish on the winning side for a change."