Advisor Aficionado T-Shirts

'I think I've spotted our problem.' (too many consultants)

"I need some advice..."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"Meet the author"

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Driverless cars rage.

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Important Food Groups

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."