Advice Taking Moment Gifts

'I should have listened to my parents and not run away to join the circus...'

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

"If you bring joy and enthusiasm to everything you do, people will think you're crazy."

'You're better off without him.'

'My best advice? Never miss an opportunity to pass water...'

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'

Tennis Player Receives Unwanted Advice on the Tennis Court of Public Opinion.

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

'My astrologer says one thing, my guru says another, my psychiatrist says something else - I don't know who to turn to anymore.'

"Do not bury yourself alive if allergic to burying yourself alive."

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

'Oh yeah! My self help group knows a lot more than your psychiatrist. First of all, there's a lot more of them.'

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

"Have you considered the possibility that you could be too old for escapology classes?"