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'I like it. It's catchy and easy to remember.'

"We can't say 'new and improved' until we come up with a product."

Dave finally figured a way of overcoming his fear of talking to people at networking events.

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

'...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys don't really have a gun...no this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant...'

'Today's consumer has new priorities, and it's our job to tell them what those priorities are...'

'That's your big marketing plan?'

Advertising Agency - "...It was more moving than Martin Luther King's speech. But...will it sell dog food?"

Sandwich board with, 'Free lunch at Arnie's' on the back and 'There's no such thing as a...' on the front.

'Then, for some reason, sales dropped right off.'

"Not love. Targeted advertising."

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'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

"So, please, dig a little deeper and help us get rid of pop-up ads for good."

"Enhanced branding metrics drive robust solutions for scalable monetization of jargon."

'All our appliances come with energy saving device - off/on switch.'

'It's called 'wild suburban sex orgies', but thats just for marketing...its actually about 17th century basket weaving'

'In addition to our web, radio/tv and print advertising, we'd like you to add word of mouth. We feel you're the one for the job.'

'Actually, this is when I'm at my most creative, when I don't seem to be doing anything.'

"Our marketing expansion seems a little haphazard."

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'I want a campaign that will fool some of the people some of the time and all of the people all the time.'

Boss: '...Let's not forget who our customers are!' (It turns out they just have one left).

'How long did you work in subliminal advertising?' - 'A split second.'

Man sees pop-up ad on chalkboard.

"It's 1ime we paid attention to effective branding."

"Now we're passing by a great big sign urging us to buy sofas!"

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

"Sometimes I wish they'd never perfected setless television."

'How's the sponsorship deal going?'

"Gossip by Steve in Accounting - An Alluring new scent you'll want to resist...but can't. Because you have nothing else going on."

'Still not punchy enough. Try putting NERO all in capitals...'

I'm calling upstairs for the latest figures.

"This is the only product claim that legal would allow."