Advertising Specialist T-Shirts

'Hey! We've never tried a 'pity' strategy before...'

"That's your big marketing plan?"

'It worked. We expressed remorse, asked for forgiveness and sales are up sixty percent.'

'Niche marketing.'

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

'It has everything... I love it!'

Lard Lite - Marketing

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

'We've re-branded.'

"If I could afford a plane, I'd hire a plane."

"How much marketing do we need to save this situation?"

Telemarketing Center: Help wanted. It's not a job - it's a calling.

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

Direct Marketing...

'More customers are asking for smaller drinks, so to maintain volume, we've reversed our sizes.'

Last chance for public relations next exit...next PR- 87 miles

73 BC: The early days of product endorsement.

London Olympics.

'That's disappointing - we've only gotten 10 years out of this 'Vintage of the Century' sign.'

"I hear you have been split testing our online advertising campaign. I haven't got a clue what that is but stop it now."

Bulk mail

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

"So, when we stopped serving meals, I thought, why not see this as a marketing opportunity?"

Brutally Honest Books

Regular $3, with commercials $2

Tim's marketing solutions

'Mr. Gridley writes blurbs for tombstones.'

'These will be photos for 'A Fat Cat is an Unhappy Cat' leaflet. So, please act accordingly!'

'Restaurant - Featuring large amounts of bad food.'

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

"No, a business model and a booth babe aren't the same thing."

Your message here.

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"What the Hell?......Since when have there been ad-breaks in the middle of a video conference?"

"That's our new church mascot."