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Cowboy 'Clients' and Indian 'Ad agencies' looking for dollars,

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Welcome to the future"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

This Message Has No Content

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

If nobody had invented graphics

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

Crap from the future.

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."