Advert-addicts Gifts

Man hiding behind chair from aggressive tourism advertising

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Roads with a view.

Gerald Ratner's return

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

As Seen Watching TV

F1 - Quit Smoking.

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

"I'd like you to meet our director of scratch-and-sniff advertising."

"We only invest in companies that still exist a year after running a Super Bowl ad."

"You can whip out one helluva sonnet, Shakespeare, bit for sales copy, this sucks."

This Space Available.

Your Ad Here.

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

"What we are looking for is some exciting advertising about our product."

Magazine covers.

Junk Mail

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

Eat More Salted Nuts

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

"We're ready to give the verdict....after the commercial break."

'I like this new alcohol labelling.'

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

"The Closer, Cleaner, Smoother Reaper."

"Play it like, sure, the world sees you as just a hamburger, but you know there's so much more to you than that."

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'