Adventurous Conversationalist T-Shirts

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Could I ask just one question?"

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

What price beauty?

"I'm fascinated by body language."

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

Attention Span Man

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

Big Talk/Small Talk.

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"Hey, do you want to be in my bubble?"