Adventurer-in-training Gifts

'We did everything together this summer. He got fleas and I got poison ivy.'

"It's one mile as the crow flies, ten miles as the lost hiker bushwhacks."

"Ahhh... close enough."

Remote control pirate bully

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

The fate of the emigrant

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

The experienced backpacker.

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Tourists

Easter Island legs

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

Desert Island Meals.

Beach con-man.

'Cannonball!'

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

"Look what I found, dad!"

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

World Tour.

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Pirate

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.