Adventure Laugher Pillows

Coast to coast.

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

'As a boss you'll find me hard, but fair. Actually, that's only half true.'

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

'Ooops. Any chance we could blame this on El Nino or climate change?'

"Oh, I'm sorry, Berger. I must have accidentally pressed the 'Sycophant' button."

"Listen, if this takes much longer I'll be late for work and I'll be a dead man!"

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

'I said, I think I know whey you're finding it lonely at the top.'

Jury Bribes.

'The computer must be on the blink if it sent a questionnaire to him!'

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

"And here we have a very rare and unusual piece titled 'The Last Remaining Open Seat.'"

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

Escaping surgery.

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

You did what? I posted your last will and testament on all the social networks. Now everyone knows you left your feminine hygiene products to the Smithsonian. Why would you do that you @#$%^?! Ugly picture taken. Posting to Facebook … now. Well-played, cretin.

'It's a tweet from heaven. They say if we don't stop watching them, they're going to tell God.'

'I drank to a lawyer's health, and now he's slapped me with a malpractice suit.'

'I can't get this laptop to work.'

"Yes, they offer free delivery. But when an on-line seller laughs, does their belly shake like a bowl full of jelly?"

'Well I'll be damned, you got me on a technicality.'

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

'Both prosecution and defense must submit any unwritten laws in writing.'

"That's OK. I'll get the next one."

'I don't teach my students about the Bill of Rights any more -- it just makes them unruly.'

'Mine is a rags to riches story. Actually, it's more like an off-the-rack to a $20 billion family hedge fund story.'

"Well, the satnav said turn left."

'People say that 'Money Talks'. Guys, I'd love to hear some.'

Bird Pool