Adventure Avoider Gifts

'Johnny Wilmot experiences the Grand Canyon'

"To hell with the call of the wild, all I want to hear is the call of the can opener."

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

"I'll go on a cruise, but not if I'm forced to learn things."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

'For heaven's sake! We're only going to the caravan for a week!'

Bob cheats on the true test of manhood.

"This is a great investment, as long as you're not in it for the thrills and chills."

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

"Baldo, you waste so much time. There's a big world out there, so many people to meet, so many places to see, so many things to experience."

'It's the only way that he would agree to come aboard.'

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

'So how was your winter vacation? . . . That would explain the faint scent of oil/gas mixture you're wearing today.'

'I don't want to fight the evil Emperor of the Galaxy! †I want to do my taxes!'

Sign reads, 'Caution Bland Drive'.

"I want to vacation where we can look at something scenic from some place climate-controlled."

"Ahhh... close enough."

Remote control pirate bully

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

The fate of the emigrant

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

The experienced backpacker.

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

Easter Island legs

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Tourists

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Desert Island Meals.

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

Beach con-man.

'Cannonball!'