Adulting Superhero Gifts

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'Where Are They Now?'

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'Still having trouble finding day care?'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

Scared 26 year old

Able to Google Stuff Man

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

"Awake and doing great"

I once flew faster than a speeding bullet

Add your kids' ages together...

'I can't party like I used to. I've got enough Tupperware.'

How to injury yourself as an adult

Secrets of Adulthood.

'Hello, parental support hotline? I was able to rise up and become super Mom. How do I get back down?'

'You can't join the Federal Witness Protection program just to keep your friends from seeing your bald spot.'

"Mommy is taking the nap that you refused to take."

"I know it hurts, Henry, but sooner of later everybody has to condo the home he grew up in."