Adult Stories T-Shirts

"...good night lube, good night lair, good night noises everywhere."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Edgar Allen Poe

'Cannonball!'

Bookworm Sleepover

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Silence of the Chickens...

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Warrior Woman

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"We need to stop sharing one set of clothes."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

Moby Dick

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

Dorothy and Toto

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

May all your birthday wishes come true..

'I told you we should have done the balloon toss.'

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"