Adult Stories T-Shirts

"...good night lube, good night lair, good night noises everywhere."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Edgar Allen Poe

'Cannonball!'

Bookworm Sleepover

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Silence of the Chickens...

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Warrior Woman

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"We need to stop sharing one set of clothes."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

Moby Dick

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

May all your birthday wishes come true..

Dorothy and Toto

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'