Adult Fiction T-Shirts

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Puss in cement boots"

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

Snow Crime

"Here’s a book with a pretty peacock on the cover. Let’s try this Flannery O’Connor story before bed."

Man reading 'How not to get caught.'

"Let's just enjoy our holiday. The whole incident with your stalker is over now. We won't see him again."

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

'There's my place. Technically it's still a crime scene, but you're more than welcome to traipse through it.'

"Oh, that three billion dollars."

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

'He's been shot!'

"You're under arrest for an attempted murder."

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

The Clown Hit

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

Mafia Nursery Rhymes - sorry Weazel, I'm gonna have to pop you.

'Oh no! They've been pinched.'

The Mousetrap, by Agatha Christie

'Our crime figures are down!'